Thursday, November 20, 2008

An Open Letter to Mr. Clean

Dear Mr. Clean,

For a few months, you graced the upper right corner of this very page, touting the magic of an eraser. Your rippling muscles and shiny polished head never failed to draw my adoring eyes back to this blog again and again. Trust me, I never had clean thoughts about you.

But here's the thing. While I was spending time watching you flash that brilliant grin, I wasn't getting any cleaning done. The strain you have caused on my marriage has been great. And to make it even worse, I began to see you pop up on other blogs underneath a little BlogHer sign, you CHEATER! I was totally going to break the whole thing off with you.

But then, you disappeared and haven't been back since...*sob*

Go ahead, stay away, for all I care! You may return to my blog on one condition--come back and announce the Magic Bathroom Cleaner. And I'm not talking that silly Shower Cleaner those little bubbles think is so great. I'm talking toilet scrubbing, floor mopping, mirror wiping, sink washing, soap scum removing sort of "magic," m'kay?

Until then, you and those sultry white eyebrows can go dazzle some other unsuspecting blogger. Unless you really want to come back...

Dirty hugs and kisses,

Carrie
at

33 comments:

  1. Dr. WifeyNovember 20, 2008 at 11:04 PM

    oh baby, and that big gold hoop earring! LOL

    let me guess, you ran out of things to do to keep you from cleaning???

    too funny :)

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  2. Keeper of the Skies WifeNovember 20, 2008 at 11:14 PM

    love this.

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  3. BethNovember 21, 2008 at 1:14 AM

    You so silly.

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  4. jori-oNovember 21, 2008 at 3:22 AM

    Hilarious! There is something about a muscle-y man who loves things *clean*...!

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  5. Jewel AllenNovember 21, 2008 at 3:28 AM

    I'd love a visit from Mr. Clean anytime! :-)

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  6. AnonymousNovember 21, 2008 at 3:42 AM

    LOL So funny!!

    Thankfully my birthday was not as bad as the link you gave me ::shudder::

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  7. LindseyNovember 21, 2008 at 3:57 AM

    Hahaha!! Mr. Clean is a blog slut? No way!?!

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  8. SuziNovember 21, 2008 at 6:20 AM

    Ha, too funny. Mr. Clean!! He rocked my blog and then went away... typical guy. ;)

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  9. Bramblemoon FarmNovember 21, 2008 at 7:30 AM

    Oh, Mr. Clean. I hate to tell you but I thought he had the look of a cheater. I think it's the earring. He just looks like a lady's man, you know?

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  10. C♥November 21, 2008 at 7:49 AM

    hahahaa sooo funny.

    over from sits.

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  11. ashley bNovember 21, 2008 at 9:12 AM

    I have heard he has broke many hearts. That is why I have kept my distance. But boy there is something about those muscles...

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  12. LorieNovember 21, 2008 at 9:52 AM

    I do love Mr. Clean. Even if he isn't faithful!

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  13. UnknownNovember 21, 2008 at 10:07 AM

    Oh mr. Clean.. oh.... yeah... he gets the heart to beatin'

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  14. AnonymousNovember 21, 2008 at 5:08 PM

    Blissful is right: you are soooo silly...which is why I adore you! ;)

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  15. AnnikkeNovember 21, 2008 at 5:16 PM

    That is so cute! I love it!

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  16. black bettyNovember 21, 2008 at 5:41 PM

    mr. clean is a hottie. after he leaves my house, i'll send him your way. ;) LOL!!!

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  17. Amy @ Living LocurtoNovember 21, 2008 at 6:29 PM

    I didn't even realize Mr. Clean had left me... I was too busy blogging to notice! He didn't even leave a note. He's probably playing fantasy football with my husband and complaining about how I ignore him.

    Thanks for writing this note, I will send him your letter!!

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  18. Danyele EasterhausNovember 21, 2008 at 6:38 PM

    mr clean...i want him to come and clean. i don't want his products. i want a clean house...do you think he can do that for me?

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  19. Danyele EasterhausNovember 21, 2008 at 6:38 PM

    mr clean...i want him to come and clean. i don't want his products. i want a clean house...do you think he can do that for me?

    ReplyDelete
  20. WepNovember 21, 2008 at 6:41 PM

    Hey, I want that two. Can we have a threesome with Mr. Clean?

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  21. AnonymousNovember 21, 2008 at 8:44 PM

    Haha!

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  22. MeganNovember 21, 2008 at 9:33 PM

    lol. if you find him and decide not to take him back, send him to my blog ;)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Aunt JulieNovember 21, 2008 at 9:43 PM

    Did you hear that the man who originally played Mr. Clean in the commercials recently died? RIP. Hiya, SITSta! My Great New Pop'rs Thanksgiving Extravaganza is still underway, so please come by and share some Comment Love!

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  24. Lula!November 22, 2008 at 2:33 AM

    Oh, my dear...
    There's nothing like a smokin' hot bald guy.

    This was HILARIOUS!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Keys to the Magic TravelNovember 22, 2008 at 10:40 AM

    Are you rolling in the dough from your Blogher ads - or is it not quite enough to buy some dough??

    And you are just hilarious. I love your comment over on Brandy's blog about being a tattoo poser!

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  26. TracyNovember 23, 2008 at 11:23 AM

    LOL! Love your blog!

    I can't remember if I replied to you or not after you found me stalking you on my Mormon Blog Stalker site. I was sick for two weeks, had to go out of town, and then came back to a sick dog (YUCK!!!). I'm just getting back into touching base with people.

    Mr. Clean and I have been on the breaks lately. He was offended when I tried Target's Method products. But I'll make it up to him.....the holidays are coming, you know? And we have guests coming to visit....and so I guess I'll need his help again to get the house clean... :D

    ~Tracy @ www.wevebeenmarriedhowlong.blogspot.com and www.mormonblogstalker.blogspot.com

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  27. Jen HoltNovember 23, 2008 at 10:05 PM

    your comment made me laugh because it is exactly what the jason langingham said!!

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  28. angie {the arthur clan}November 24, 2008 at 6:51 AM

    He is one smokin' babe, isn't he? I miss seeing him around here too! (But don't tell my hubby...he probably wouldn't understand.)

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  29. Live.Love.EatNovember 24, 2008 at 3:50 PM

    Ok, I had to actually google Mr. Clean to put a fresh image of him in my head because I haven't seen him in awhile. Yeah, he's cute!

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  30. AnonymousNovember 25, 2008 at 11:36 AM

    haha...that's great...he's pretty hot--I can see why you'd be mad at him for cheating. Nothing like a big gold hoop earring to get ya' going.

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  31. UnknownNovember 25, 2008 at 7:41 PM

    Very funny : ). Am I a loser because I don't even know what blogher is and I have never clicked on it? I saw your comment at live.love.eat and I came over to see the clever comment writer.

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  32. Tiffany TNovember 26, 2008 at 12:09 AM

    Hello - I found you through Gingela5 :).

    You know that Roomba robot vacuum cleaner? They need to take that and cross it with those all-terrain vehicles that can climb walls (I realize THAT doesn't exist)... and then add a rinse jet with drying towels and VIOLA! A contraption that no one will ever want to get near. Sigh... is 6 and 4 too young for child labor?

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  33. UnknownDecember 4, 2008 at 11:58 AM

    HaHaHa - this was great!! If you happen to find the magic bathroom cleaner would you mind if I borrow him for a few hours?? ;)

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